Poems to Help Fix Your Life by Shane Kowalski




Poetry, Prose


 


David Shrigley, Untitled (Arms), 2009. Image courtesy artnet
David Shrigley, Untitled (Arms), 2009. Image courtesy artnet

 

POEM TO FIGURE OUT WHICH FACE TO WEAR TODAY

Go to the mirror,
break it. Decide which part
is least effective to the resistance. 
Chew bubblegum. Be pure of heart.
Wear sunglasses at night.  

 

HOW TO TELL IF THEY ARE JIMMIES OR SPRINKLES

They are jimmies. 

 

HOW TO DECIDE WHAT TO LOVE 

Plant a tree. 
Don’t smoke into a child’s face.
Wear only long stockings at night.  
Sleepwalk through the hole 
in your heart.

 

A MANUAL FOR CARS 

Enter into a BDSM
relationship with your car.
Have fun 
picking a safe word.
Be creative.
Listen to each other.    

 

HOW TO BE KIND (OF A DICK)

Look out your window.
When you see your neighbors
with their daughter with lupus walking
and they wave to you from the street, 
close the shades abruptly.  

 

PERFORMANCE PIECE 77

Invite a person who really likes pizza
over to have pizza. 
Except, don’t give them any pizza.
Tie them up and eat a whole pizza
in front of them. 
Laugh in their face.
Go to the bathroom. 

 

A MANUAL FOR LIFE

Get a dog. 
Or if not able to get a dog: 
look at others’ dogs. 
Steal them.
Go on the lam.
Live as fugitives.
Wear sunglasses at night.

 

A MANUAL FOR SEX

Only do it if you have problems. 
If you don’t have problems, it will be regrettable. 

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS

Stress doesn’t exist. 
It’s the government trying to hypnotize 
you into buying merchandise. 
Or: 
Make a snowman and punch it, 
and/or 
make love to it. 

 

HOW TO LISTEN GOOD GUIDE TO OTHERS

Do you have ear?
Lend me a ear.
I have mouth! Do you hear?
I am so proud to be listening…
people say I haven’t since the war. 

 

POEM FOR THE PERSON WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU

There is a person who looks
just like you. They are out
there. Someone most likely
will fall in love with them.
What should you do?  
Be like the person who looks 
just like you.  

 

MISSING POEM

What happens after a thing stops
being in the world?
Who knows who knows who knows… 
Your appliances try talking 
to you when you sleep though. 

 

Shane Kowalksi lives in Ithaca, NY. He does dieddisappointed.com.