Things Kompressor Might Say
Kompressor sneak into apartment open refrigerator and steal ingredients for tacos.
Kompressor unleash bad odors about things you do not understand.
Kompressor wear burgundy in Botswana get funky with mad rhythm.
Kompressor done everything for four years.
Kompressor miss hubcap.
Kompressor grab tongue with pliers and pierce with rusty penny nail.
Kompressor remove leg at knee and convert into hatrack.
Kompressor deny fishheads.
Kompressor drink copious water achieve proper hydration.
Kompressor carry rucksack.
Kompressor bypass tetanus, remove carbuncle and dine on raw oysters.
Kompressor consume ticket to movie with Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Kompressor obey speed limit when riding in jalopy.
Kompressor protect the iguana and do not fight back.
Things Kompressor Might Whisper
Love you pay certify nursing assistant clean out earwax once month.
Love you doodle Queen of Wombat.
Love you pronounce dromedary in way make Kompressor think of truffles.
Love you no believe Tooth Fairy Easter Bunny but burn eternal flame to Tony Tiger.
Love you test unbreakable cups, call water fountain bubbler and pillow talk cost extra.
Love you think Hermes God of flower delivery.
Love you stand still toes point inward like skier snowplow stop.
Love you no pet seeing-eye dog, when on duty.
Love you when get drunk sleep you dream get pregnant.
Love you dodge many elusive belief that not there.
Love you encase goldfinch in Lucite and possess psyche supple as if modeling clay.
Love you interview Chihuahua Top Secret High-Tech position.
Love you shower long telephone cut off no good.
Love you recite pi twenty-seven digit.
Love you cook meal name inspire by hurricane.
Love you put peanut butter on meathook.
Love you find Tanzania on map eyes get big.
Love you never wait for taxicab or Kompressor jalopy.
Geoffrey H. Goodwin likes to tell people that he can see in the dark. Geoffrey also likes to say that books have ruined his life. He has a Shelley Jackson tattoo and lives near Boston, which is near where Geoffrey and Amy rapped a Beastie Boys song in front of a live audience. Clearly, Geoffrey lies. He has interviewed speculative writers and artists for Jessa Crispin’s Bookslut, as well as Tor.com, Sirenia Digest, The Mumpsimus, and during Ann Vandermeer’s editorship of Weird Tales. His fiction has appeared in Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet (issues ten, thirteen, and fifteen), and also in Rabid Transit, two anthologies from Prime Books, and other places that are into that kind of thing or that get closer when you ignore them. In general, we are all becoming a meow of unknowing, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. Coffee occasionally helps when you’re not sure if you’ve ever been to Ohio. We should probably look into drones because, let’s face it everybody, the kind of people who have the wherewithal to possess drones really aren’t the kind of people who should be stealing the sky from us. It’s easy to lose track of what’s on the ends of our forks when we’re busy trying to find unmarked and unpersoned vehicles that might be targeting things we care about.