The Selected SuperBowl Media Day Haiku of Jim the Poet




Poetry


 


 

Peyton Manning’s thrown
More touchdowns than “Who’s The Boss”
Had would-be bosses

 

Wes Welker’s yardage
This year qualifies him to
Join the Mile High Club

 

Knowshon Moreno:
Best thing to come from Jersey
Since disco fries

 

Monte Ball is as
Fast up the middle as a
Zipper on quaaludes

 

Demaryius Thomas
Your name has broken the form
of this haiku

 

Paris Lenon, your name
Combines my favorite city
And the best Beatle

 

Britton Colquitt would
Be a cool name for a
Downton Abbey butler

 

Andre Caldwell has
As many receiving yards
As he has tattoos

 

Trindon Holliday
So fast this haiku is
Already over

 

Aaron Brewer is
A long snapper which seems like
A really hard job

 

Terrence Knighton’s
Nicknames are “Pot Roast” and “Mutton
Chop” which are tasty

 

Richard Sherman would
Make a way better Batman
Than Ben Affleck would

 

I bought a bootleg
“Beast Mode” t-shirt so I owe
Marshawn Lynch money

 

Golden Tate’s famous
For that cool Fail Mary play
That got back real refs

 

Russell Okung’s
favorite Bible verse is
Romans 4:20
 
 

Jim Behrle‘s Superbowl Media Day haiku has appeared in The New York Times. Follow him @behrle