The Selected SuperBowl Media Day Haiku of Jim the Poet




Peyton Manning’s thrown
More touchdowns than “Who’s The Boss”
Had would-be bosses


Wes Welker’s yardage
This year qualifies him to
Join the Mile High Club


Knowshon Moreno:
Best thing to come from Jersey
Since disco fries


Monte Ball is as
Fast up the middle as a
Zipper on quaaludes


Demaryius Thomas
Your name has broken the form
of this haiku


Paris Lenon, your name
Combines my favorite city
And the best Beatle


Britton Colquitt would
Be a cool name for a
Downton Abbey butler


Andre Caldwell has
As many receiving yards
As he has tattoos


Trindon Holliday
So fast this haiku is
Already over


Aaron Brewer is
A long snapper which seems like
A really hard job


Terrence Knighton’s
Nicknames are “Pot Roast” and “Mutton
Chop” which are tasty


Richard Sherman would
Make a way better Batman
Than Ben Affleck would


I bought a bootleg
“Beast Mode” t-shirt so I owe
Marshawn Lynch money


Golden Tate’s famous
For that cool Fail Mary play
That got back real refs


Russell Okung’s
favorite Bible verse is
Romans 4:20

Jim Behrle‘s Superbowl Media Day haiku has appeared in The New York Times. Follow him @behrle